Chriss

Fri, 17 Aug 2007 03:14:15 GMT

the funny thing about life is that it goes on.

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 00:40:49 GMT

Alright...

A growing number of white supremacists and neo-Nazis are infiltrating the U.S. military, and the military is letting it happen.

The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC)--which has monitored hate groups for over 20 years--recently issued a report detailing how recruiters and commanding officers, under pressure to meet wartime manpower goals, have been relaxing the standards designed to weed out racist extremists. Donald Rumsfeld, despite being directly asked by the SPLC to address the problem, has been silent.

Meanwhile, white supremacist organizations are encouraging their members to join so that they can receive the best military training in the world, in preparation for race war.

This is insane, and it has to stop now. Thankfully, Reps. Artur Davis and Eliot Engel have taken up the issue. Today, along with 30 other representatives, they will propose a resolution demanding that Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld immediately adopt a clear, strict zero-tolerance policy towards racist extremism in the military and conduct a full investigation into the problem.

I've signed on with ColorofChange.org to tell my representative to support the resolution. You should too. It takes only a moment.

http://www.colorofchange.org/military/?id=1956-82828

Thanks.

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 00:40:26 GMT

Okay, to elaborate on my last blog.the senate just approved a bill that makes it a crime, punishable by fine and or up to a year in jail, for any person other than a parent to take a minor across state lines to get an abortion if the girls state says it is illegal to get an abortionnow, advocates of this bill say it the parents right to know exceeds the girls right to choosethey say that the parents should know if their daughter is being taken for a procedure that could cause physical/mental damage and or death.now, I understand that stance. I really do. But, we must look further.

I think its quite interesting that this bill:

a- is being debated at a time when gas prices are at an all time high, unemployment rates are soaring upward, the US is at war... with....terrorism..., and the chances that we are about to enter world war three are pretty goodwhy are we debating this and gay marriage and such?

b- does not include any extra spending to further sex education in schoolsyou know, maybe prevent the problem? And it isnt that it just wasnt included in the billnoit was included but did not get approved.

c- does not include any exceptions for girls who have been raped or victims of incest.

Now, Ive heard a lot been said about this bill by a bunch of men. I dont know. I just think that, for this situation, as a man, Im not sure you can understand. Here are some of the comments I heard:

"As for girls who have are victims of incest...well, tell the police!"

Are you serious? I mean, really? Again, something I dont think a man can understand, and Im sure I dont really understand never having been a victim of sexual abuse. But I do know that over 90% of all rapes go unreported for numerous reasons. Shame, the victim not feeling he/she will be believed, feeling he/she deserved it, fear, etc. And many victims of incest in particular have been undergoing the abuse for years and may have been threatened that, if they tell, they will be harmed or their other siblings will be abused. So, telling doesnt always seem an option.

"Abstinence is the best way to prevent teenage pregnancy. How many people really think its in the best interest of young people to be sexually active outside of marriage? Does anything positive ever come from that?"

First off, the issue at hand really isnt sexual activity, or else the part of the bill to get more money approved for sex education would have been approved. (Im really interested in what the senator who said the above quote voted as far as approving the money for sex education.) Second, lets get a reality check. Whether or not you think premarital sex or abortion is right or wrong, lets look at the reality of the current situation. Sex is happening, all the time. It is. And Id really like to know when the senator first had sex and with how many girls when he was a teenager? Bet he wouldnt be so keen on the law back then.

This may seem like an odd statement, but I think there need to be loopholes in the law against abortion, and going to another state was it. I wish they had taken a poll of teenage girls, asking them that, if they got pregnant and it was against the law to go to another state, what would they do? Because I think advocates of this bill thinks it will encourage girls to talk to their parents, but if they had done a little more research they would probably find that most girls, especially if they were desperate enough to drive to another state, will be desperate enough to take measures into their own hands. I know that, if I had gotten pregnant at 15, 16 whatever, I would not tell my parents. I would starve, throw myself down stairs, fall on my stomach, whatever to kill the baby. And, in doing so, would probably injure myself. Am I proud of that? Do I agree with those actions? Nope. And I would be a near basket case for many years after that, but in reality, I know thats what would happen. I cant even imagine if I were to be pregnant from my father?

As I said before, I understand the stance of parents wanting to know about their maybe 12, 15, 16 year old daughters getting this procedure done. But I think people are missing the real issue and the consequences of this billI think Hilary Clinton actually said it best- "We're going to sacrifice a lot of girls' lives. "

Tue, 25 Jul 2006 00:35:36 GMT

requiem

this is a poem
in dedication
to all the poems
that were never written;
all the lines
frozen
in the corners of my mind,
the metaphors
caught
between cracks of my brain
never to be free again.

not that
they would have been
marvelous
they may have
been meant to be simply
mediocre
or maybe even
bad
like some of the ones
that fought their way
to the surface

but

this is a poem
in remembrance
to the lines
there were casualties
in the
struggle of
mind vs. pen
the ones
i was too lazy
to write into a more
physical existence
when they awoke me with their
3 am screams,
ghostly arms reaching,
begging me to take hold and save
as i
turned my back,
deceiving everyone with promises
to remember them in the daylight

this a poem
in commemoration
of all the poems that were
ignored,
discarded;
written on scraps of paper,
shredded napkins,
backs of hands
washed one time
too many;
for all the poems
disregarded
all the
betrayals of self
i allowed to occur

this is a poem
for all the lines
unsaid
unwritten
unloved

lost

-

i wrote that poem a few days ago. it means even more now because, apparently, my old computer, the one i had my book on, the one i've written so many fucking poems on, journaled on, random letters and shit saved on from 8-12 grade and some since i got back- yeah, that one. the hard drive failed.

everything.

gone.

i guess that's life.

but i'm pissed.
angry at myself.
at yet at the same time i dont really feel anything.
that's life.
that's how it works.
it sucks though. so many things just...gone.
i feel as if i should cry or vomit or something.

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 01:08:18 GMT

"Paper Bag"

I was staring at the sky,
just looking for a star
To pray on, or wish on,
or something like that
I was having a sweet fix of a daydream of a boy
Whose reality I knew, was a hopeless to be had

But then the dove of hope began its downward slope
And I believed for a moment that my chances
Were approaching to be grabbed
But as it came down near,
so did a weary tear
I thought it was a bird,
but it was just a paper bag

Hunger hurts,
and I want him so bad,
oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess
he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands
are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts,
but starving works,
when it costs too much to love

And I went crazy again today,
looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope
Baby said he couldn't stay,
wouldn't put his lips to mine,
And a fail to kiss is a fail to cope

I said, 'Honey, I don't feel so good,
don't feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void,'
he said
'It's all in your head,'
and I said,
'So's everything'
But he didn't get it
I thought he was a man
But he was just a little boy

Hunger hurts,
and I want him so bad,
oh it kills
'Cause I know I'm a mess
he don't wanna clean up
I got to fold 'cause these hands
are too shaky to hold
Hunger hurts,
but starving works,
when it costs too much to love

Wed, 15 Feb 2006 21:44:00 GMT

help.

Thu, 26 Jan 2006 20:48:07 GMT

this is a picture of the future & you'll notice that there's a lot of blank space because people haven't made up their minds about it & the future doesn't have a lot of time for that kind of indecisiveness

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 00:59:41 GMT

"Mr. Lies I want to get away from here. Far away. Right now.Mr. Lies. I want to go away. I can't see him anymore."
-Harper, Angels in America

stolen from keikoface

Sat, 16 Jul 2005 13:41:27 GMT

LADIES: Turned ON or OFF when a guy:

dresses in abercrombie/hollister stuff: off. go find yourself an abercrombie girl and have babies. i'm not one of them.
dresses like a thug: off. i'm already more apt to be pulled over; dont need your dress helping.
dresses like a surfer/ skater: off. i'm usually against all "sterotype" wear. do your own thing. think outside the box.
dresses in all black : like a techie? heh.on if it's sleek black. not goth black.
sings: on if it's good. but not all the time. (mitch!) sing to me when i'm about to fall asleep/i'm sad.
plays a musical instrument: on. extra points for guitar/piano/sax
bites your ear: on. nibble me, bite sometimes.
is shorter than you: off. that's REALLY hard to do though.
is taller than you: ON. don't me so tall i need to get on a chair though! i like when i hug and i fit under your chin...i dont want to be at your penis level when i'm standing.
has straight teeth: on. although slight problems add character. just nothing too gross.
grabs your ass: on. if it's in private. off in public. or if in public no one directly watching us and very quick.
Is tan: i never really notice. nothing unatural and we're cool.
has a 6pack or close to it: -. i'm not perfect, you dont need to be...but i LOVE the hip bone/shelf or whatever...that's hot hot.
wears braces: -. i had them. i would hope you got them when younger though and they're off by now.
has chapped lips: -. i get them. i'm put chapstick on and kiss you.
has green eyes/blue/brown: i dont really care exactly; i am a big fan of contrast though. so if you are say- pale with black hair different eyes are always nice. as long as they're expressive. look at me! i love eyes in general. green eyes with black hair is hot though....the contrast baby.
has a shaved head:off....how can i run my fingers through it.
wants to be a dad: on. just don't impregnate me for a while. and only want 2 max.
drinks: off.
smokes cigarettes: off.
smokes pot: off
has black hair: on.
has blonde hair: off.
has brown hair: cool. contrast again.
works out: ummm. i dont like super buff. i like toned or sleek. dont be more of a workout freak than me. just not a good combo. but dates like playing tennis or biking are cool.
smiles more than not: is it because of me :) happy guys are cool. just dont be fake.
has bigger feet than you: on.
has smaller feet than you: Off. that's pretty hard to do.
wears cologne: -. i like natural smelling stuff. so i dont want to be able to really smeel it unless we are very close together then it's like it's just for me and i feel special.
smiles when you walk in the room: :) ON.
wears makeup: lets not.
has long hair: depends. if it works, ON ON ON.
has short hair: completely depends.
has mohawk:off.
plays sports: depends. soccer is a good one. just dont be TOO involved and completely just all in there. and it comes before everything else.
a bad boy: depends. are you going to jail? probably a turn on but i might not follow through.
a good boy: define good.
has nice arms: ooooonnnnnn!!!! and let's wraaaastle. not too big. just sleek and toned.
has a job: -. if it means money, great. if it means NOOOO time for me, find another job. i need attention sometimes...
has any peircings: depends. one is ok if ear. maybe eyebrow if you can pool it off.
has tattoos: -. unless it's something sort of hidden and original.
boxers : off, actually. boxer briefs.
tighty whiteys: nah. boxer briefs...although briefs are amusing.
has a good personality: ON.
Has hair all over:off. i'm spoiled now.
calls you: ON. make me feel special.
calls you back when you hang up: OOOOOOOONNNN.
can talk to you on the phone:on. well i like when we have really good conversations that last for hours a couple of times a month. doesnt have to be every night.
is bisexual: ...nah.
understands love: on.
falls in love quickly: off.
stares into your eyes: on. especially if we're having a discussion or having sex.
is honest: ON.
compliments you: on. but must be very specific compliments. i like occasional blows me away compliments more than a kiss-ass.
is on time: on if it's something professional. i like people that aren't too uptight. but i also hate waiting. no more than 10 mins alte without a kick ass excuse.
calls when he says he's going to: ON.
walks over and kisses you for no reason: OOOOOOOONNNNNN. and i'll reward you.
wants to spend whatever time possible with you: off. i like my alone time and so shoud you. and lets not forget our other friends/family. but i like coming first. or being able to tell you WANT to be with me but are trying to take care of some responsibilites so when we are together it's super special.
cries: on when it's called for. or you try to just causally let be see slightly but still hide it.
gets jealous of your guy friends: off and on. i am a touchy person so dont get all out of shape. however, if you dont get jealous at all i feel a little unloved.
can't make a decision: meh. i like occasional awkward indecision, but i can't make decisions. so if i can't, then i need you to.
snowboards/skateboards/wakeboards/surfs: not really moving me either way. what a sucky last question though.

Sun, 26 Jun 2005 01:54:22 GMT

"Something's Missing"johnmayer

I'm not alone, I wish I was.
Cause then I'd know, I was down because
I couldn't find, a friend around
To love me like, they do right now.
They do right now.

I'm dizzy from the shopping malls
I searched for joy, but I bought it all
It doesn't help the hunger pains
and a thirst I'd have to drown first to ever satiate

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all

When autumn comes, it doesnt ask.
It just walks in, where it left you last.
And you never know, when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around your summer heart:

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it
something's missing
And I don't know what it is
At all

I can't be sure that this state of mind, is not of my own design
I wish there was an over the counter test, for loneliness.
For loneliness like this.

Something's missing
And I don't know how to fix it

Sat, 25 Jun 2005 23:07:06 GMT

if i push you away seem distracted dont respond i apoligize. i'm falling apart right now.

Sun, 20 Mar 2005 02:45:39 GMT

i was caught in between all you wish for and all you need

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 18:53:38 GMT

She lay in bed,eyes closed, listening to the beating of her heart and trying to keep the dreams from escaping past her lashes. Each flutter of the eyes let a part of the dream slip through and soon it would all be gone.

She knew the end was coming but she wished it had already come.

She rolled over and turned off her alarm, as she did every morning, punching the button twice and ignoring the dent where her brother had dropped it last year. She paused a moment, watching the red numbers illuminate the small area of the room and she thought it was kind of like her life; she lit up about that much space, relatively, in the world as the numbers did her room. Would anything change if either light stopped burning?

Mon, 17 Jan 2005 05:39:35 GMT

And it's that swim of faith, if you will, that is so difficult. To let go and swim on your own through water you can't see through and have no real proof you'll make it.

if you want to peruse my ponderings, leave a note.